Indecisive

What the hell do I really want?

In the last two months, I have been moving back and forth with what I want to do next in life. Its been an hectic situation for me. I have started with this idea of applying for MCP of AIESEC South Africa, then I pulled out from that, then I decided that I will go back home for a couple of months before going on an internship; now I am abandoning that plan. Now my plan is to rerun for MC New Zealand but this time for ICX. Damy, what do you really want in life.

See, the point is that for me, I know my future is bright and what ever path I take today will lead me to a rewarding future... this mind is confused honestly!

On a more constructive and positive note, another year in AIESEC will make me actually do the things I really wanted to do for ICX since this was a huge chunk of my ER responsibility in AIESEC New Zealand in the last one year. As ER Director, I am responsible for raising National Exchange Partners and from that I will get to know and understand the challenges of raising excghnges in New Zealand. So by been ICX director, I can generally contribute immensely to the development of ICX locally through the knowledge i have gathered about ICX in New Zealand.

Anyway, to cut my story short, I have sent in my application, had my interview, got ratified, and I have be reselected into the New Zealand MC as ICX.

Even though this is the case, I will be heading to Nigeria by late July for a month. I'll use that month to sort out academic issues, stay with my mum for a while, get some more Nigerian goodies for my new MC team, hopefully go to IC in August and then return back to New Zealand early September to kick ass on ICX .

I'll keep you updated with how this goes in the coming weeks.

Next move reshuffled

The last two weeks have been filled with high level decision making. Decision about how to structure my sessions at the just concluded AIESEC New Zealand Autumn in order to leave the greatest impact I can give, decision of whether I should first travel to Nigeria before my MCP term starts in South Africa- if selected, decision of whether I am really ready to take up the MCP role and if I can create the greatest impact that I will really love to create if selected and knowing of all the challenges I will face as a Nigerian and as an international MCP more importantly.

The last weeks has also come with a lot of remorse for home. I have been hearing series of news about my family members, most importantly of my mum and her ill state. For some of you who are the last born of your family you will understand the connection I have for my parents. For me, I have been away from home for the last 2 years and the connection has really developed into a deep wound on me. So the decision to go home has also been my worry.

The weeks have honestly been a tiring one for me and amidst all of the decisions I have taken, the one that stands out most and worth mentioning in this post in whether I am truly ready and able to take up the MCP role in South Africa. After lots of considerations here and there, I regret to announce that I have pulled out of the race for MCP for AIESEC South Africa. It is not for me to give the reason of why I have decided to withdraw from the race, but the question is what next do I plan to do.

I really think it is time for me to take the next stage of my AIESEC experience. In the last 5 years of my been in AIESEC, I have been remodeled to be this individual who just want to do more and more until I am exhausted to do any more. Somehow, I think I have done a lot for and in AIESEC that I don't know see myself been able to do more. In saying that, this means I am not tired but just retiring from active roles in AIESEC.

So again, what is my next move? One of my team mate has been looking forward to a time to travel round the world and she feels that the time right after her term in MC NZ will be the perfect one. Another feels its time for her to look for an internship somewhere in Europe, maybe. For me, my next move will be a combination of both.

I will be going back to Nigeria for a couple of months to stay close to my parents a little and this time, I will be going around the country and seeing new places I really haven't been to before. During this time as well, I will be looking out for my first internship, potentially in Europe. Can't tell now until it happens. Hopefully, I hope to start in November

In the good sides of things, we (AIESEC New Zealand) just concluded its national Autumn Conference with a 12 man delivery team lead and chaired my Ryan Sheppard former AP GN Director. His presence at the conference brought a lot of energy and fun to the delegates and he was also able to bring back all of the goodies from his former experience of been an Asia Pacific Director and of the roll calls and dances he had learned during those times.

The MC farewell night led almost all the MC members crying and for me, knowing I was leaving AIESEC brought me to tears as well- Lots of drama that night. I am now still reading my sugar cubes and damn, I think I will cry again.

Just felt like sharing...